You May Go Now

By bossnya - July 26, 2008

It's been a minute, dear readers, since the DC Goodwill Fashionista has put together a list of trends that must cease and desist. And there's no time like the present! Although the summer of 2008 hasn't exhibited the worst of the worst (cropped knit gauchos, anyone? no?) some styles simply have to go. Forthwith, my list of summer 2008's least appealing looks...

Let's say you're a fashion designer. And you're attempting to create a new kind of dress. The mini-tunic: already been done to death. The maxi-halter: seen a thousand of 'em. I have it! How about the banded-bottom, shapeless middle, spaghetti-strap and/or bat-wing semi-mini! Ohmygosh you guys - it's perfection.Except that it's not. In fact, it's hideous. Ex

hibit A: Sweetface's Mini Pleats Batwing Dress, currently on sale (surprise!) for 70% off at Yes, it's a turquoise silk banded-bottom dress from none other than J.Lo. Don't shoot the messenger. I just report the facts.And I could go on and on about those, but this dress speaks for itself. Practically shapeless, very little wearability (how does one walk in it?), bulges in all the wrong places. No, no, NO. Please...let's all close our eyes and wish really hard that we never see a dress like this again.

Next on the list of offensive styles is the toe-hugging flip-flop. What do I mean by toe-hugging? Well, for some odd reason, the strappy part of the shoe has been moved perilously close to the little piggies, so that the flip is even floppier than ever. Exhibit A: Nine West's Kellyana, available from Piper Lime at (again, surprise!) nearly 60% off the original price. How is this so offensive? Let me count the ways: tiny, unsupportive straps; hideous "gems" (on this particular model); and - oh right - they're FLIP FLOPS. Back me up on this one, dear readers. The toe-hugging flip-flops have to go.

Next on the list of please-go-away-forever-please are denim short-shorts. You can try justify wearing them low, you can attempt to justify wearing them high: the DCGF doesn't care. Just don't wear them at all!Exhibit A: the Yves Jeans Short from French Connection. Muffin-top inducing no-waistband styling: check. Two inch inseam: check. Overprice

d at $79.99 (on sale!): check. Just check out any recent photo of Fergie if you need any further evidence why these shorts should be relegated to the bottom of the bin for all of eternity. Repeat after me: Grown women do not belong in denim short shorts. There. Don't we all feel better now?

Finally, ending today's short list of trends that must go is any and all clothing related to "Sex & the City." I know, I know That show was really cool...ten years ago. Let go!But alas, we can't seem to do so. Online discounter Bluefly even has an entire section of their website devoted to Carrie's Closet. Really? Sorry to be so skeptical, but this fashionista just doesn't care about Pat Fields and her SATC "magic" anymore. She may have captured the zeitgeist of the late 90s/early 2000s with perfection, but that moment has passed. Exhibit A: Missoni's champagne floral tie-neck silk blouse, part of the "Fearless Mixes" section of Carrie's Closet.

Um...what's so fearless about this? Is it the $852 price tag (marked down from $1420)? Is it the hideous color combination? Is it the fact that my grandma has cuter secretary blouses in her closet? Regardless, Carrie & Co. have enjoyed their day in the sun. I'd rather look to Gossip Girl for fashion inspiration these days...

So that's all I have for today. What about you? What have you had enough of this summer? Share your thoughts and pictures in the comments section. Together, we can make the world a more stylish place to live!

DC Goodwill Fashion Blog: You May Go Now#links#links

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